


Undying Love

by Bittodeath



Series: The Eruris (Tumblr Weeks, AUs and Canonverse) [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, plus a shinigami, reaction to chapter 80
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6701911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittodeath/pseuds/Bittodeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I am doomed to never die until I've known love and been loved in return"<br/>Basically it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undying Love

Erwin looked at the God of Death standing in front of him. It had beautiful, long white hair and bottom-less black eyes. And it was staring at him.

“What have you done?” it whispered softly, gazing at the blond kid in front of him. “Condemning your own father?”

Erwin stepped back – summoning this creature to resurrect his father at definitely been a very bad idea. He shuddered when its deathly pale hand reached out for him.

“Life is precious, kid. You can’t waste it like that.”  
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”  
“I know”, the God said. “And that’s the problem.”

It crouched down, grabbed his head and lightly kissed his forehead.

“I curse you, Erwin Smith. You shall never die until you’ve loved and been loved in return.”

Erwin widened his cerulean blue eyes – was this really a curse? Never to die?

The creature blinked.

“It is definitely a curse. You’ll understand soon enough.”

A week later, the young Erwin fell from his window. He should have died back then. But the God came and looked at him.

“It is not time”, he simply said, allowing his broken body to live on.

He should have died back then. It took some time for his broken bones to heal, but he lived. He lived like he never had died. So he did the only thing that seemed logical: he became a soldier. He died – several times. He died, and the God came and told him it was not time. He told him it was not time, even when he was crying over his dead comrades,   
he told him it was not time the one time he tried to give up. So Erwin lived on. It was not time.

 

And then it happened. At first, he didn’t see his demise. He only saw a thug who would make a great soldier. “Humanity’s Strongest”. This could have absolutely no impact on him and his life, could it? Still, from that day on, he didn’t die anymore. Levi was incredibly dedicated to him, and no danger ever approached him. Though he didn’t fear – he wouldn’t die, after all – he felt like not dying anymore could only be a good thing. He had been lucky no one had discovered his terrible secret. And as he didn’t die anymore, he slowly forgot about the curse. What was so terrible with it, anyway? Everyone considered him a monster, even if he did get attached, he wouldn’t be loved back. Centuries, millenaries could go by before he’d actually die – for good.

When Levi kissed him the first time, he didn’t feel any different than with any other person. It was only Humanity’s Strongest, a man like him, a body doomed to die when a Titan would close its deathly jaw on it. It wasn’t more different the first time they had sex. It was just sex, after all. Like most of the soldiers, they searched for a comfort that was hard to find. No, all those moments weren’t different.

He understood something was wrong with him the day he allowed himself to break down with Levi by his side. Never before he had shown his weaknesses. But with Levi, he felt safe. He felt like no one was trying to hurt him or to push him to make a _faux-pas_.

At first, he pretended like he was just caring. Levi was his soldier, wasn’t he? The fluttering in his heart was just anxiety, and the loud thumps when his hands brushed Levi’s, a mere reaction to the Corporal’s cold skin. There was no way, absolutely no way he was in love.

 

Then he started asking himself the real questions. It happened when Levi, laying naked on the bed after a particularly tender “round”, suddenly stared at him and asked “What are we?” Erwin had stared at him, dumbfounded, and finally muttered three words he had wished he could take back for something… clearer: “I don’t know”. Levi had grumbled, but said nothing more before grabbing his clothes, putting them on and getting out. Erwin was left alone in his bed too big for one person in sheets still warm from Levi’s presence, and he had started wondering.

It took him two weeks, silence and a lot of fidgeting to acknowledge his feelings and finally confess them to Levi. The small man had smiled and opened his mouth to answer – Erwin’s big hand prevented him from saying a word. And the Major told him. He told him everything, his father, the curse, his countless deaths.

“Maybe we can fool him”, he finally said, “if you never say those words.”

Levi had agreed. It was hard on them. He suffered, watching Levi bite back his words whenever he was close to say them. Watching him thrashing around, destructing furniture and yelling at the top of his lungs when it felt too much, when he couldn’t endure it any longer. Biting in the pillow when they fucked – they didn’t dare to say “make love” – so no confession would come out with his ragged breath. Crying, and pretend it was nothing – only sad memories of those who had died before.

And Erwin finally understood why it was a curse. It felt like it was eating away his life, and there was nothing he could do. If Levi didn’t speak, he suffered, but if Levi confessed, he would die, and if he died, what was this love worth for?

 

He was tired. So terribly tired. Watching countless men and women die under his command, watching young soldiers see for themselves the harsh reality of the fight against Titans. Watching Levi slowly wither. But he had a goal, he was in love, there was no way he could abandon both these things like this.

At least that what he thought.

 

“I’ll make the choice for you”, was what Levi said, kneeling in front of him.

Taking the weight off of your shoulders. Telling you the three words. Let you go in peace, knowing you willingly gave up on the two most precious things of your life. And Erwin had smiled. Peace, at last. Rest, for once. Death, finally. He was not afraid anymore. He had known love and had been loved back. He had something precious.

Levi slowly leaned forward, and brushed his lips with a kiss.

“I love you”, he whispered.  
“I love you too”, Erwin replied with a soft smile.

He had looked up: the God of Death nodded, his face expressionless. Yes, it was time. Preparing himself, he rode one last time, yelling his determination and opening a path for Levi, because it was all that mattered: Levi would be safe.

“I love him”, he murmured with a chuckle when he fell. “I love him”, he repeated when the God leaned forward to take him away.  
“Yes, I know”, it murmured. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, I hadn't plan on posting it at first but a bunch of people on Tumblr liked it so... here it is. Don't hesitate to comment and such.


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